SEVERAL HOURS LATER
So there I was, minding my own business, when I felt a cold hand on my box. Yeah, I said it. My box. I was shoved roughly into a paper sack, and then went on a long ride. "How can you be, like, automatically pregnant?" this man kept saying. "We just, you know, did it."
"I don't know," monotoned voice, female, maybe, but just barely, "but I love it. I don't care if it breaks my spine and makes me drink blood and you have to chomp out my uterus to get it out. We are having this baby, Edward Cullen."
I was taken out of the sack, and then the cold fingers ripped my box open. Warmer hands took me, took off my hat, and then ... I couldn't even say it ... something fucking peed on me. Peed. That was so not cool. First the pink control line showed up. Then the second line indicating pregnancy showed up in the window. Then two little fangs appeared on the second line, indicating a freaky vampire-human hybrid pregnancy.
I heard something like the sound of a marble Adonis statue hitting cold bathroom tile.
homme kah päev...
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