Mida Sinead 20. augustil oma blogis kirjutas (refereerib Brian)

My shit-uation sexually/affectionately speaking is so dire that inanimate objects are starting to look good as are inappropriate and/or unavailable men and/or inappropriate and/or unavailable fruits and vegetables. I tell you yams are looking like the winners.

YAMS

I actually do know a woman who is a performance artist from America. I have a photo of her being escorted arm in arm by two uk police man onto a plane back home cuz she humped a yam in the middle of her show. I just know that's going to happen to me if I don't take drastic action.


Needless to say what I do for a living makes it hard for me to find men that only want me cuz they like my (legendary) arse. Yet I am in the peak of my sexual prime and way too lovely to be living like a nun. and it's VERY depressing.


So I've been pondering on whether or not I should join some Irish dating agencies. Of course if I did it would end up in papers so I may as well save myself the registration fees.


Am in desperate need of a very sweet sex-starved man.


He must be no younger than 44.


Must be living in Ireland but I don't care if he is from the planet Zog.


Must not be named Brian or Nigel.

(Brian):

Must be blind enough to think I'm gorgeous.


Has to be employed. Am not fussy in what capacity generally but vehicle clampers need not apply.


Leather trouser- wearing gardai, fire-men, rugby players, and Robert Downey-Junior will be given special consideration.

As will literally anyone who applies.


I like me a hairy man so buffed and/or waxed need not apply.


No hair gel.


No hair dryer use.


No hair dye


Stubble is a non-negotiable must. Any removal of stubble would be upsetting for me.


No after shave.


Must be very 'snuggly'. Not just wham-bam.


Must be wham-bam.


Has to like his mother.


I must end now as I have a hot date with a banana


Applicants can apply through my secretary at vampyahslayah@yahoo.com




ja nüüd.... UPDATE!


I've been repeatedly asked will I 'do anal sex'.


Let me make it very clear.. Any man I contemplate has to be into anal sex..

Let me now take time to make VERY clear that yes I 'do anal' and in fact I would be deeply unhappy if 'doing anal' wasn't on the menu, amongst everything else$$ So if u don't like 'the difficult brown'.. Don't apply...

the difficult brown?

I've had reasonable complaints from lesbians that they have been excluded. This was terribly remiss of me and I would now like to make it clear that women will also be very much considered.


As will Brians and Nigels.. Since there were complaints there too.